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The True Purpose of Marriage - Surprising.
We hope, subconsciously, that this is a safe place to bring the pain to light, while consciously we ignore the need, often blaming our partner for our own inability or fear
to share painful truths.
Often we don’t even have enough clarity about past events to be able to share them in a meaningful way.
For instance, I was born after World War II. My parents were Holocaust Survivors. I didn’t become aware until recently of how much pain they were in when I was a child, and the messages I received about being alive in an evil world, just waiting for the opportunity to finish the work they started.
I lived my life in fear and pain – feeling rejected by the whole world. I married a person who had very similar feelings although their source was completely different – from family problems.
These painful experiences began to surface – and an otherwise happy marriage began to sour – without either of us knowing why.
Her unexpressed childhood anger and my unexpressed victim began to surface more and more.
It took over ten years from the time of realizing something was wrong, to finally unravel both our issues, before we could even begin any sort of healing.
In the meantime we experienced a lot of frustration, antagonism and hostility – creating an unhappy environment for all.
The True Purpose of Marriage is – Healing – which needs to precede Growth.
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