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Marriage Enrichment - Reporting vs. Inspiring
Recently we conducted a workshop series on marriage enrichment at The East Hills Community Center in Nassau County, Long Island, NY.
The couples were all professionals and rated their marriages as good to great.
They wanted to see if there was something they could learn to take it to an even higher level.
We also advertised the workshop as: "Finding Out the True Purpose of Marriage" which many found intriguing.
One of the concepts we teach from The Continuum Theory© is that we operate with a framework, a context, a vision in every area of life. Whether we are aware of this framework or not.
Mostly we are not aware, and often it is not a powerful, inspiring vision.
We teach that when daily situations arise that cause conflict, we can actually use them to inspire our spouse and ourselves.
These small instances of domestic squabble can actually move our marriage to ever higher ground; if we know how to handle it.
So we asked for some scenarios from the couples that caused upsets and I want to present one to illustrate peoples' usual approach to relationship issues, and the alternative approach we teach.
Ex: At Susan's there is a house rule that dirty dishes get rinsed off and placed into the dishwasher, rather than be left in the sink. When Susan saw that the dishes were left in the sink she fumed and didn't speak to her spouse for the rest of the evening.
What is her vision for the marriage? What is her vision for her spouse? What is her belief that she'll be heard, or that she will get the cooperation and help she seeks in the future?
I think you can answer those questions yourselves.
In training couples we stress creating a powerful vision, framework, and making sure that it is verbalized right in the beginning of each discord.
What does every married couple want? To have an ExtraOrdinary Marriage. It was their dream, their hope at the altar.
That is a truth and a vision that may have gotten blurred by experiences that have fallen short.
Nonetheless, to move the marriage in the direction of the vision, the following communication needs to happen:
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